Ending 2020 with a smile

Last year has been nothing but uncertainties. To be frank, I started last year feeling a bit scared as I stepped into the real world of adulthood (ok partially as I'm still living in the same roof as my parents). I mean there were times when I felt completely lost and I didn't know what to do. The next thing you know we're in a pandemic which then messes you up even more. But here I am, typing in January 2021, saying that I'm grateful and happy that I made it through the rough year of 2020. 

There are a few things I wish someone would have told me how to handle the adulthood transition. So I thought I'd share a few pieces of advice that might be helpful. Disclaimer: this is purely what I learned based on my own experience and I'm still having a hard time practicing this advice I'm about to share so please take it with a grain of salt. 

Lessons learned from the adulthood transition:

1. Choose your goals wisely. I always wondered why interviewers would ask "how do you see yourself in 10 years" when you clearly don't have a clue how it's going to be. But now I understand that if you could envision yourself in 10 years' time, that's when you know you had a proper goal set right in front of you. With proper goal setting, you tend to motivate yourself and strive to become who you want to be which then affects your day-to-day decision. Everything relates somehow, your choices, your decisions, your thoughts, your solutions. The word 'wisely' is important as you need to set goals that are achievable for yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else so I reckon you to sit down, do some reflections and think about the goals that you really want to achieve. Whether it's yearly, monthly, or even weekly goals. For me, having goals really kept me focused and it drives my motivation to be better at it or anything. If you have no idea how to set goals, I suggest using the "SMART" goal strategies. Google it :)

2. It's okay to not know everything. Relax you just graduated, there's a lot of things you need to learn as it's a different experience. I struggled to try to understand terms, procedures, and what my job really is, everything was just new and weird so I just kept going. The beginning is the toughest but it will get better. Have some patience, take your time, and eventually, you can do work with your eyes closed :p kidding! But yes, you'll get the hang of it as you practice daily, 8 hours a day, 5/6 days a week. Have faith in yourself as every day is a learning curve. If you are afraid to make mistakes, don't be (!!!!) because this is the time to make mistakes in order to improve yourself and for sure, people would understand. As long as you're willing to learn and sacrifice your time to learn, then you're good! And if you felt like crying, just cry. It's okay, there are days that you will feel extremely exhausted, a complete failure, things just don't make sense at all but tell yourself that it'll pass and you'll get better, trust me. One more thing, stop pressuring, telling yourself negative things, and even judging yourself! The last thing you need is you yourself bringing yourself down. 

3. Be selective of what you consume. Not just in terms of food, but what you read, hear or watch. Social media can really mess up things for you and the same goes for your social circles. You won't realise that you were consuming negativity when you read some stupid teas people share with you or listening to something that is toxic from your own circle of friends. You see, you are molding yourself every day, if you consume negativity and toxicity, you'll become negative and toxic. I mean, well basically what I'm trying to say is just try to leave out things that don't concern you. Don't allow yourself to be influenced by something you do not want to feel or become. But it's easier said than done because for instant: social media, it's just there on your feed and it's tempting you to read or watch. Well, my solution to that is to unfollow or mute them as simple as that. I realised that sometimes I am, too, spreading anger through my rants on social media and truly I apologise if it gives or brings negativity to you. It's really not easy to have self-control but I'm really trying my hardest here. Also in my previous post, I mentioned that I read a few self-growth, motivation books because at first, I was just really curious about how other people handle struggles that were similar to mine and it has gotten really interesting to know their pov. Consuming these kinds of pov had somehow helped me to understand what I need to become a better me. Cliche. Some days it's common that when I'm stressed out, I tend to spend hours scrolling on social media just to distract and escape myself from my problems rather than trying to find solutions. And I saw a saying somewhere that goes something like "pretending keeps you in denial". I mean, totally.... Hence, I read to find solutions in the hope to become a better me lol.

4. Educate yourself with money management knowledge. This is super important! Receiving your first payslip is such an amazing feeling and all you want to do is to spend every single cent you own. In the short run, it's fun and amazing to spend your own money because you deserve it but in the long run, it might not be the best option. I know it's obvious we need to save aside some money for rainy days or for future investments, but how do you do it? I learned this technique from Aisha Preece where she suggested using the 50:30:20 ratio. From your salary divide them into percentages, 50% is your expenses, 30% is your spending and 20% goes to your savings. I'm still learning to manage my money wisely and how to make it grow in the future so there's not much advice I could share.

5. My very last point! Don't wait until you're ready. Just throw yourself out there, let the experience becomes your teacher. You might miss an opportunity somewhere because you needed more time and by the time you're ready, someone else might already take that opportunity from you. Therefore, just go for it and just do it. The best advice I've received so far is to stop saying "I wish" instead try saying "I will". That would instantly change your mindset and give you the motivation to start. Going out of your comfort zone tend to be scary and awkward. The feeling of uncomfortableness makes you give up so easily (This includes me!). However, be mindful about it as some opportunities might come with risks. Very important to do research if it's a high-risk opportunity or reaching out to someone for help. Honestly, I've been reaching out to strangers since last year and it's either from Instagram or from Linkedin. Safe to say that there are lots of strangers out there who really care to help and to sincerely share their piece of advice with you. And don't worry so much :)

Before I end, I hope this is useful to someone out there (if anyone still reads my blog which I don't think so) who is in the same boat as me. 2020 was indeed a blessing in disguise as I've learned so much. Wishing everyone all the best for this brand new year and may we flourish to become the best version of ourselves every day. Don't forget to do good always and be kind to everybody <3